The Longest Week

Well I did it. I survived nearly one year in China. Readjustment has been at times suprisingly easy, shockingly bizarre at others still depressingly difficult. Generally speaking things the same now as they were when I left with only minor changes. This has made it easy. As for the bizarre, it has been completely non sensical and random things. One of the things that struck me as most weird was riding the metro in new york and over hearing people speak Chinese. I feel like my time in China and my life at home are two completely seperate lives that I've lived and this experience brought some sort of connection between the two - not least of all because I could understand parts of their conversation.

Finally we come to why it has been difficult, and this has been the most complicated of the washing machine of emotions that I'm experiencing to try and qualify. Of course, I miss the friends I made there, dreadfully so. And I miss the city and all of the random care free fun that was expat life in Beijing. But more than all of that I think its that I've experienced something great, perhaps the greatest thing I've ever done, but that I'll never be able to return. Sure I can go back to China, and I can visit my friends, but I can never recreate that experience no matter what I do. There is a certain finality to that which leaves one feeling stranded and powerless.

I'm making every effort to 'get back on the horse' - get my grind on as you might say. I started my new internship (which is awsome btw) the day after I got back home. I'm making preparations for going back to school this fall; running for LCP, working stuff out with my room mate. I think I've accepted the fact that its over. I guess the only problem is that I wish I were still in Beijing.